Why your LinkedIn marketing doesn’t work on me

LinkedIn is textbook ens—ification. Is anyone going to make a serious argument that the deck is stacked against the normies of LinkedIn? Worse yet, imagine being a person at an organization that is a recipient of daily sales pitches.

There's a baseline desperation that most people sense immediately, when you’re messaged by fly-by-night marketing operations, layered on top of the obvious subtext that you're a piggy bank waiting to be cracked open. I don't say that to be harsh; I say it because understanding why it reads that way is the only path to doing it differently.

Here's how I actually experience LinkedIn outreach, ranked from the only people who've earned my attention down to the people who've earned a mental note.

Tier 1: I'm actually listening

1. You're a member of the local tech community. I've seen you participating for months, maybe years. You drop me a connect request. Yes, I'll connect. Doesn't guarantee I'm listening to your pitch one-on-one, but I won't leave the room if you're presenting at a conference.
2. I already know you from somewhere. There's historical trust. You moved from a reputable vendor to a startup.
3. You're a data person at the company in question.
4. You briefly introduce yourself at a tech event, mention your company in passing, and leave it at that. When I have a problem your solution fills, I will find you.

Tier 2: I'll connect, but I'm not responding

1. Your title is "Executive Sales" but your message says you want to connect because you're interested in what I do and want to share notes. Sure. I'll connect on the off-chance you're being honest, but I'm expecting subterfuge.
2. You lead with flattery: "incredible resume," request for a few minutes. I don't have an ego, so that's not getting you in the front door.
3. The classic sequence: blind connect request to avoid burning an InMail, brief pitch, two more unsolicited follow-ups, the "I won't bother you anymore" message with one last ask, and then (inevitably) one more message anyway asking if we can meet at a conference.

Tier 3: No connection, no response

1. The offer to burn an hour on a call talking about my data problems, hoping you stumble onto a use case for your overnight operation. I don't do the fishing thing.
2. A free trinket (headphones, a gift card) in exchange for an interview. C'mon. Ethics, man. Even if I were able to accept something like that, I’m never going to do it on principle.

Tier 4: You're in the book now

These are the behaviors that don't just fail; they leave a mark.

1. You follow up your LinkedIn messages by emailing me with read receipts enabled. I'm not responding, I'm not approving the receipt, and I'm making a note.
2. "If you're not going to respond, can you give me the names of other senior staff I can contact?" Another note.
3. You go fishing through the org chart, bothering people trying to get to me. This usually ends with a coworker coming to my office asking if I know the person who keeps messaging them, and not in a positive tone. When you eventually reach me, you typically open with something like, "ah, there you are."

There you are, indeed.